Drabble: All's Fair - InuxMiro

For: Kaytla
Pairing: Inuyasha x Miroku
Emotion: Frustrated lust  
Object: Banana  
Word: Faster  
Wildcard: Ofuda
Word Count: 802
Note: For mah bud so she smiles I totally tore apart and ate the meaning of "ofuda", good grief. XD

All's Fair

It wasn't fair! Miroku thought, rather perturbed as he watched his friend gingerly snack on a banana as they waited for their friends to call regarding a movie later.

The hanyou before him was just as oblivious as he'd always been, and yet there he was. Eating a banana. The one food, other than a hot, piping sausage, that you couldn't eat without people thinking dirty, horrible, very-unfriendly-like things regarding what OTHER sorts of things your mouth could be doing instead.

Miroku had to look away.

Just... look away, Miroku thought, continuing to chant to himself. Nothing to see here. He's not sitting on that couch big enough for six people, shirtless and eating that phallic-shaped fruit as slow and sensually as he possibly can, nope. He made the mistake of looking back. The hanyou was still taking his time. Great Buddha, couldn't he eat that thing a little faster?!

"So you done with all that monk stuff your old man's makin' ya do?" came the garbled question. The hanyou finished the banana languidly, throwing the peel behind his head at an obtuse angle into the kitchen.

Miroku's eyes followed the peel's trajectory, not surprised at all when it landed neatly in the trash bin. He shook his head at the uncanny precision his friend always seemed to have. With everything he did.

"Uhh, yeah, I suppose," came his lame answer, fairly certain he was tinting a certain shade of pink the moment his eyes landed on Inuyasha again.

Inuyasha, who was staring right back at him under a shadowy fringe of white-silver bangs. His eyes... somehow smoldering in their burnished gold.

"What's got you all jittery, oh wise monk Miroku," Inuyasha teased, eyes acutely aware of the other's stare dipping down his chest. Inuyasha shifted his hips on purpose, his suspicions of being visually undressed confirmed as his best friend's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets before tearing away to the other side of the room.

If the bright stain of red blooming on Miroku's face wasn't an indicator of the other's rather awkward, frustrated lust, then his scent was one hell of a giveaway, Inuyasha mused, lip curling into an evil grin.

"Well, well, well, what's this? Holy man in training lusting after his best friend? A male no less? And a hanyou to boot? Do you wanna get kicked out of your family and ostracized by your temple, Miroku?" Inuyasha chucked. "Or is this more about sinning before you take your final vows or whatever?"

Miroku sent a nasty glare that had the hanyou giggling like a little girl.

"Oh that's precious!"

"Inuyasha, I have no idea what you think you're talking about..."

"Oh?" the hanyou's eyes turned stubborn and determined at that dismissal, before he bit his lip, running his hands slowly down the plains of his flat, toned torso only coming to an agonizingly slow descent around his navel. Miroku couldn't help but stare, mesmerized. He wouldn't... the dark-haired boy thought. But he did.

In one fluid movement, Inuyasha snapped his jeans open, only a soft white trail of hair showing before disappearing further down into hidden depths of jeans.

"Hah, guess your monk training didn't teach you much if you can't even resist temptation, huh?" Inuyasha leered, stimulated by the absolute want clouding Miroku's eyes.

However, the next second Inuyasha frowned as something seemed to click in those amethyst orbs, a sharp sort of light entering them as something very unholy came to rest in them instead of embarrassment.

"Miroku what are you-"

Miroku reached swiftly into his jacket pocket, not having thought such a fortuitous moment would present itself to him where he'd be able to use these.

"Just remember, you've brought this on yourself for provoking a holy man in training, Inuyasha," and with that held aloft two single strips of paper with ancient writing scrawled on them. Closing his eyes and mumbling a quick chant, he threw the ofuda at Inuyasha like darts, each separating to either of Inuyasha's hands and binding them into the back of the couch, rendering the hanyou immobile.

"W-WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" Inuyasha thrashed in vain.

"Sorry but not even your half-inhuman strength can break those," Miroku sing-songed, walking over to his friend and leisurely straddling him with the biggest, goofiest, stupidest look Inuyasha had ever seen.

"I'll kick your ass, monk! You've no right-!"

"Ah, ah, ah. All's fair in love and war, as they say-"

"Who the fuck says that shit?!"

"-as such, how about we rewind and go back to that offer you were about to... delve into earlier, shall we?" Miroku waggled his eyebrows, leaning in and capturing the hanyou's mouth. Inuyasha breathed in the hot kiss, succumbing faster than Miroku expected.

Yes, all's definitely fair in love and war, he thought with mirth.

The end.